


philip in a bush(warning:spicy)

by melloneddy



Category: The Greatest Showman - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Humor, Multi, Philip in a bush, angry charity, barlyle - Freeform, barlyle kiss, crackfic, i am deeply sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 07:31:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13852980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melloneddy/pseuds/melloneddy
Summary: Philip is a very complicated individual. He has many layers, much like an onion. P.T. is determined to help him shed those layers.**birthday fluff**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [picnokinesis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/picnokinesis/gifts).



> I believed, and God spoke to me.

p tee barinum had a problem

he could not find philip

he had been in a bar with pillip but then the phil had disappeared out of the sight of phynneis

so pity barniarnium was looking, he was thinking about bubbles when uh oh

salvation army stood and she was looking mad on her face

“oh no” thought barnhouse as he saw that armchair was very afraiding right then

“PEE TEE” she said with a satan face “WHERE IS PHYLLEP”

“i cannot find him” spoke the human, looking at the ground with shame

suddenly he rAn to the circus and was in the circus now

there were trees in the ring and p t was confused but he looked when suddenly hellin came and had ponte shoos on

“no healin” said phiyneus with a stricken looking nose

but helin was a strong independent woman and she did what she wanted

so she danced and she fell with her feet and oh no now there was blood

sharitee boomed in with mOm voice 2.0 and pinies was scred and went away 2 the side when

he hEARD

a man retch behind a bush

“oh no” thought finias for the elevenieth time in the that day

he went around the bush

but iT WASN’T A MAN NO NOPE

it was _ann cartweel  
_

she stood up n gave pinnias a sad look with her eyes

“you cannot b anmantha” said pfineas “that happend 2 be a MAN RETCH”

arnie looked with look of her faciall feetures and she said “u r right no i am not whatsherface” and she took off her face and

gASP

it was pilipp cartlyl

furnias tswift valinium was widened in his eyes and was not wording

so piling took his face nd gave it kiss number unos

“oh parnum” pearlip sighed and said “oops it's my birfday and i wanted a gift”

oh no barnem said and ran to get a gift

pilipp sighed and looked after him

“no parnium...the only gift i wanted…………..was u”


	2. oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what will happen to our cast?????????? charitee is a very bad girl

burnim runned down the street looking for a gift to give to phalp

he had been running for minute so he was tired

“pumpernickel” thought fynn “their is no gift that is perfect eneuf” he sat to cry but then

he sAW IT

the _perfect pressent_

it was a bush

and it was beutifall so pfhinn thought “the perfect gift finally” and he went to take it

the bush was the perfect size for fhillllip to hide behind

p t then reelized that parsnip was not oficcialy his bf yet

so he put a note on the bush that said “prOPERTY of p t bernamm do nOT touch pleese” and he ran to the curcuis

he burst threw the doors and yelled with loudness “pHILYPP”

pheylep was sitting on a seet in the audience waiting

“wat is it poarnum?”

“will u d8 me ples”

pfillllip gasped “yes parnim of course” they kissed their faces and then phinneyeas went to get parslip’s gift

he went back but oh no

the bush was gone and not there

borenum began to cry “how will I ever find pahlip the perfect geft now”

he turned around and uh oh

charrinty was there and she had the bush “i am better frends with pealip than you you utter egg”

bearnum could not let tchahritey have the bush

so they had a Parent Fight and chahrite won obviously

barniam lay in the street crying becase he did not have the bush

choritey took the bush to pheylep

phallap stood on his legs “scharritey? where is my boyfrend????”

“don't worry” said schcoritiy “he will be here but i have a gift for u”

“reely” said plip and he was happy

cority handed him the bush

“omg” said filip starting to cry

it was such a perfect bush

“this is the best gift ever” said pholip

caritee smiled “i know plop”

pfheylep caressed the bush leaves he was so happy

and tHEN

pieytiey berinarum burst in the doors

“NO CARITEY” he yelled in a voice that was dinosaur “THAT IS MY BUSH”

choritee was verey offended “phonneyes i beat u fair and square for that bush and it is MY PRESENT”

“NO CHARYTY THAT IS NOT FAIR”

filllip was very confused

“PHONEYEAS I GAVE FHILIP THE PRESENT PFIRST SO I WIN” scharitey said very loud  
phoneas looked at fhilp “i cannot fight her again. i will die. but know this.”

foneas looked out the window with very solemnness

“the bush is my present.”

pholepp began to cry it was too much

“can i just have the bush” he said very sad

“well………..we’ll see”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is one in the morning god bless  
> and I am too tired for an actual note n crap  
> bye for now  
> see you next chapter

**Author's Note:**

> oh no!!!!!!! wat will happen????  
> will pineeus find the perfect gift for pileup??? will chairty get revenge on pilllip for hell's nee??  
> find out in capter too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> comment n kuhdoos!!!!!!!


End file.
